Tips for having curly hair
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn
"…And then I said, ‘go make me a sandwich!’ haw haw haw."
"I don’t get it."
"What’s not to get."
"Why would she make you a sandwich?"
"Because… She’s a girl."
"You can’t make yourself a sandwich?"
"I can make myself a sandwich."
"Cool, go make me one too."
[Smooth Criminal plays]
the fall of the enterprise
(Source: spaderr, via man-made-god)
student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker.